Theresa sat staring into space. Her hands wrapped around her coffee mug. She had skipped the team meeting. Surely Cable would have a lecture for her. They all thought she was strong. God, she was far from it. She was a flower out in winter's first frost. Her fragile petals dropping to the ground.

Terry, of course; would never tell anyone this..of how fragile she was inside. She knew Jimmy had known. So did Domino, but she never said a word. And Terry hadn't seen Jimmy in forever.

Her coffe was strong, waking her up. Cable walked past her to his office. Hmmp. Maybe he was just happy to see her out of bed. Sober, even.

She hadn't drank in two days, her head pounded. Terry had shadows under her eyes. She was finally out of her sweats and tank. Terry finished her coffee, seeing Dom at the door, "Hey how 'bout a shoppin'trip?" She asked with a smile.

Domino smiled glad to see her friend up and about. "Sure, Terry"

172words
theresa rourke cassidy/siryn
x-force, misc. comics

I was five years old. At that time I lived with me Uncle Tom. (Black Tom Cassidy, whom is really my cousin.) Everyone sees him as this horrible person. (True, I even see his faults now.) But at five he was everythin' to me.

It wasn't a very big party. Just Uncle Tom, Uncle Cain (Juggernaut), and their lady friends at the time. I wore a green party dress with a pink sash. My red hair in two pigtails with pink bows.

He got me a pony! Of course I didnae know how to ride it. But then that didnae matter I had asked for the pony.

Uncle Cain had gotten me a dollhouse. Their girlfriends had gotten me Barbies.

I had cried for weeks for that barbie cake; the Barbie partu. He had spent many a lon' day findin' everythin'...

Everythin' I had asked for. I couldnae I've been happier that day.

I hate tim'. It never moves at the speed it should. Always fast when you wan'that extra minute with someo'e. Slow when you can't stand a'other agonizing mintute.

When my dad died, I didnae know. My friends sat me down an'told me. I couldnae believe it. My dad...Everyon'else comes back why not him? Why not? It just didnae seem fair. I hadn't had enough tim' with him..

Even now, I'm lost in the bottle,losin' tim' with every drink. I pass out sometimes for days...not knowin' what I have missed. Not even caring that I'm in bed with empty bottles. I just push them off grabbin' a shower, bushin' me teeth.


Everyday goes by faster and faster, an' I'm not sure where I quite fit in anymore. An'that's what really scares me. I'm scared that I'm goin' to lose meself. I've already pushed too many away, do I have tim' to do what I need to? Or am I just killin' myself?


169 words
Theresa Rourke Cassidy/ siryn
x-force, x-men, misc. comics.

Back from hiatus.

Terry shivered; as she padded barefoot to the kitchen.

"What are you up to?" Jimmy Proudstar asked eyeing his friend. He had been up endless nights making sure she stayed sober.

She smirked not bothering to pull down her night shirt. "Boyo, what ye doin' up so late?"

"Have you been drinking?" Jimmy asked.

Terry giggled running her fingers up his bare arm, Drinking chigging yes. "It be dem ghosts, Jimmy."

"Terry..." he warned.

"What ye don't believe? I do. They be eve'whe'e." she slurred.

"Where, Terry? In your mind?" He asked softly, trying to reach for her.

She back away. "Yir really cute whe' ye be protective."

Jimmy sighed, "Terry your're going to kill yourself with your drinking."

"Aehh..." She murmured. "Ye worry too much." She looked out the window across Cassidy Keep. Where on a really foggy day...she could swear she saw her momma. In white, punished to live enternity as a ghostly form.

"You don't worry enough." He replied softly.

"Bout ghosts? I worry all de ti'e. To be a ghost." She shivered. "Is a punishmen' fer yer crimes or of ye giv' up yer life fer someon'. Ye take their punishmen'." The tears fell down her face.

Jimmy wrapped his strong arms around her. He couldn't change the past. Hell, he could barely change her now. But he loved her dearly, and maybe that would help.

I love the night...but even more when I'm out. I enjoy getting drunk outside. Hell, I just like drinking.

I go out on the roof, to be alone. Too many people here at Xavier's with big noses. I sent word to Magneto. I want to join the brotherhood. This is where I think and get drunk.

Yeah, sometimes I hate myself. I hate who I am. When I drink I don't have to think...or feel.

The cool night air chills my fevered skin. Drying my tears on my face.

The alcohol stops the thoughts. Stops me from missing my dad. Stop my doubts and fears.

And in the dark of light I can't even fool myself. During the day I put on a show for everyone. A show that only those closest to me can see through. But you know what? In the dark of night every they can't see me. So fuck them.

I'm on hitaus till the end of the month.

I'm the biggest disappointment there is . Look at my life and tell me one thing I have done right. Except getting myself trashed. Can't think of anything can you? Well I can't eighter. Maybe I'm just cursed. My mother was unable to find love and keep it. Happiness hah! That has got to be the hardest to find.

I've lost Jimmy, Wade, Jamie. Did I love any of them? Or did I just believe myself in love? I don't even know love. I'm always on the look out for it or at least sex.

I'm a worthless daughter. i mean who would want to admit to me? God where's that Vodka? Too many thoughts driving me mad. Oh dad what can I do? Here I am being crazy talking to myself once again.

My mom went crazy. Crazy from love. Crazy. An illness in my brain. Something I can't run from. No matter how hard I try. One day it will consume me like it did her.

Theresa Rourke Cassidy/Siryn
X-men
160 words